Bengali Muslim Marriage
The Bengali Muslim Marriage or Bengali Wedding includes many rituals and ceremonies that can span several days. Its first step is the official registration of the wedding and presenting Denmohor (known as kabin) and ends with the Bou Bhat ceremony.
Firstly the matchmakers ( ghotoks) who are generally friends or relatives of the couple, proposed this matchmaking. When it is done then the planning of the wedding itself is done by parents. Then they usually start the planner the wedding venue many months ahead. The bride usually participates actively in shopping for her bridal attire and gifts. When a matchmakers proposed this and when both family agree to this proposal then arranged the official engagement must follow from formal consent given by the family elders from both sides thats known as Paka dekhe or patro – patri dekhe. When they are agree then both families convene at either side’s home to fix the final date or marriage date.
Next is Tumeric ceremony known as Gaye holud. It is part of an elaborate series of celebrations constituting the Bengali wedding. Although it originates from the Hindu wedding ceremony but now it is major part in Bengali wedding (both Hindu and Muslim). In this part some wedding decorations including turmeric paste, candy, sweetmeats and gifts. Then Bride’s friends and family apply turmeric paste to her body .
Next is wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride’s family. The groom , along with his friends and family (Borjatri) arrive later in the evening but the groom’s mother traditionally dose not attend the wedding because they believed to negatively impact her son’s married life. Instead she awaits at home with some other ladies for her son and daughter-in-law. When she came at home then all members are joyous.
Then 1 or 2 days later celebrated as Bou Bhaat (also known as reception) ,here arranged a gala dinner to introduce the Bride to the society and the whole of the family. In the final step is ful shojja (that means flower bed )where the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments presented by the bride’s family and their marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom’s family.